August 8, 2006

Bush: "Rummy, kin you leave some of our boys over there to guard our oil? Like, just sit on it so those fuckers with the notes don't git nervous and cause a Texas shitstorm. Jus' show 'em the old greenback's got a little lead in his pencil. Attaboy. Pret' soon ole Ben Franklin's gonna be stickin' up like a boy scout at the girl scout's swimmin' hole."

Don: "But Geedubya, the goddam sand-niggers 've come unglued. There's a goddam civil war goin' on in 'raq. 'mericans 're gittin' squeamish too."

Bush: "Jeez Don. get a holt 'a yerself. Call that Limey faggot and tell him he's got a couple, wait, make it fourteen terr'ists headin' his way with bombs in sody pop bottles. Then call up a few reserves and send 'em on over."

January 14 2001

O'Neil: "Mr President. We've just sold the twentyzillionth Treasury Bond."

Bush: "Good. Selling well are they? Shit I love this business. Beats Arbusto and that silly baseball team. Money for paper, hot damn."

O'Neil: "No, you don't understand. Those bonds are like a loan. If them people want their cash back they can ask for it and we have to give it to them. We've already sold three times more paper than we can pay back."

Bush: "What the fuck is the mint for boy. Go put an order in for....how many zillion did you say?"
O'Neil: "We already done that but if those noteholders get the idea we got no assets to back the paper they'll panic and the dollar will fall so hard it'll leave a dent. Then we'd be really fucked."

Bush: "Assets you say. We got plenty assets. What about all our oil?"
O'Neil: "What, the strategic reserve? We can't touch that."

Bush: "Course not Turkeyneck. I mean all our oil that's under the desert. If we show `em that they'll be cool."

O'Neil: "Desert? We got oil in Arizona?"

Bush: "Arizona?? What you been smoking son? Iraq desert. And that other place, lemme see now, same sort of name..."

O'Neil: "Iran?"

Bush: "Yeah that too."

O'Neil: "That means going to war!"

Bush: "What are you? Some kind of faggot? You're fired. On your way out tell Dick and Don to drop by with that pax americana stuff they been working on. Jeez, do I have to do all the thinkin' `round here?"